I never imagined the most embarrassing moment of my year would be reading a poem out loud because up to that moment, I never thought of releasing them to the world just yet.

But as I was shaking nervously when I decided I'd do it, I realized that I wasn't afraid of mispronouncing anything, nor of a grammatical error being pointed out. I was only feeling like that because I cared. And I decided that I couldn't be blamed for having feelings for someone and even less for getting in touch with my feelings for the first time in a long time.

I like thinking that if someone released this as an actual song, it'd have been my most played song of the semester.

If It Happens At All

Caught myself thinking about you last night
At typical songwriter hour
Wondering when was the last time I crossed your mind
Just like this, unexpectedly
If it happens at all

Caught myself trying to decode your thoughts
Though you never open up to me
Wouldn’t believe that I keep your attention
Here’s to still hoping a bit
If it matters at all

Does it ever?
Does it ever happen at all?
And does it matter?
Does it even matter at all?

There’s something in simple daily living around you
Secretly making our paths collide
I’ll find a reason to bother you through the day
Twisting fate, making it all mine

Have you ever smiled at just the thought of me?
It happens to me all the time
I try to see so much further than what meets the eye
Deluding myself to sleep at night

Does it ever?
Does it ever happen at all?
And does it matter?
Does it even matter at all?

When the resources run dry
And I can’t compete with your daydreams
A concrete answer might hurt more
So I’ll stick to maybe, it’s the best I can get
At least I don’t get to really ask
Let’s keep it like that
Unless...

Does it ever?
Does it ever happen at all?
And does it matter?
Does it matter at all?

Does it ever?
Does it ever happen at all?
And does it matter?
Does it matter at all?